Uncle Walter's Rants

A Blogalicious 2015 Day

Disguised as one of my many alter-egos I was able to slip into Blogalicious 2015 in Baltimore Maryland this weekend.  Not sure what I could learn to help promote my blogs I entered with an open mind and an eagerness to learn.  What I saw was a bit surprising.

The usual things I would expect were there.  Companies to help tie sponsors to my blogs where I could get free stuff for touting how great their things are. There were conferences with "experts" who would advise you to promote your blogs and update regularly and all that good stuff. There were other bloggers, a very nice crowd, who were great to talk with (and a little surprised to hear there was something out there like www.rottenromance.com or romance.unclewaltersrants.com). This was all expected, and then there were some unexpected surprised for a blogging convention.

The sponsors... well, they were unexpected to say the least.  Domain.me was there and I could easily see how they could work with bloggers. So was Wells Fargo, again I'm good with that and then there were a few surprises.

 

Top Six Surprising Sponsors of 2015 Blogalicious

 

1. 
   ALDI, the Grocery Store was there with a table promoting their wine. They gave away free bottles which was cool, but I was never clear on why they were there.  Sure ALDI wine is neat and all, but how does that help me to blog? On top of that the wine they gave away for free was not on sale in Maryland.  I would have to drive to Virginia or DC to get some.
2. Mahogany Cards from Hallmark had a full suite with free greeting cards for attendees. Which was nice and all, but what did that have to do with anything? Admitadly I walked through the suite, but didn't interact with the people there.  Maybe there was some hidden purpose I didn't get, but then again maybe not.
3. Toyota was there promoting Toyota things?  I guess, they were.  They had a contest where you take a pic with a RAV4 parked out front and you could win a camera and they had blogging advisers available on an appointment basis.  I spoke with them about their attendance and they explained that they have provided vehicles to bloggers for review purposes in the past.  Unexpected for my part, but I guess they fit in.  At least what they presented was blogging related.
4. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwed Pregnancy was there to promote birth control methods which is awesome and all but I'm not sure what that has to do with blogging.  That being said, I think that they will get a future blog post out of me because they had a lot of important and positive stuff to say.
5. 
   And then Kikkoman was there.  You know the soy sauce people?  I was like, what the heck!  Soy and blogs, do they even mix?  But then they hit me up free soy sauce ice cream (tasted kinda like coffee) and some soy chocolate milk which was pretty awesome.  The people at the suite were pretty awesome too so I'll accept it as normal.
6. Then I ran into the strangest sponsor of all in a suite, Monsanto. The GMO people, reviled by some and feeding most of us anyway. Why were they there, what could they want, what kind of swag could I get from them (it was a neat salad bottle)? So I ventured in and what did I find?  Some of the nicest people there and a few farmers.  They were ready to talk about what they did, I didn't get into politics of GMOs and they didn't bring it up. Their lemonade was weak, but they were some of the nicest people there.  They said they were there to communicate their "message" better as to what they do. Honestly it seems like a good idea for them although I think a blogging conference is an odd place to do it but still it's a good start for them.  Not going to weight in on the GMO thing here, but no matter what they were good people there with nice swag so I would go back again.

So what did I learn from it all? I learned that sponsors don't have to match the event to get a massage across (although I still don't get it), that there are better ways to promote the blog, many ways to get free stuff and Kikkoman can be used to make decent ice cream.  All in all it was a worth while day.

-UW

 

Storage Unit Stories - Ester 10x10 in Laurel MD

I buy storage units at auction and sell the goods on line. Sometimes I get gold and silver, other times broken crack pipes. Each auction win is the beginning of a new journey where I search for the things I can sell and learn more about the former owner than their best friends may know about them.  This is the story of East, 10x10 unit in Laurel.  (Names have been changed to protect the original owners)

From the outside the unit had nice shelves and lots of little white boxes. Some crabbing gear and folding chairs.  The small boxes looked promising and $375 later I was the proud owner.  A month later I now know Ester's story and how her treasured belongings came to me. Belongings including bill receipts, insurance paperwork, Hummel Figurines, Danbury Mint collectibles and more.

She was divorced in the 70s. In 1981 married another man who was also divorced. He worked for Goddard flight center in a field related to the shuttles. She worked for the University of Maryland. They lived in a small house in Laural and had a trailer which may have been a camper.  Their union produced two children, a son and a daughter who grew up and moved away. In 1999 the couple renewed their vows and as the new century began they made the move towards retirement.

Ester was friends with the people who ran the storage facility where they moved some of their collectibles. Ester was a bit of a QVC addict and needed a place to keep her thinks organized. Her husband passed about three years ago.  Once a month she would come in and chat with the unit owners when she made her payment. A kind older lady who always brightened their days. Then one time she arrived a bit distraught.She was in her lower 80s and for some reason she got lost driving over even though she had done it many many times. Then it all clicked again she knew where she was. 

The following week her son drove her in for the payment. She wasn't pleased because the MVA had revoked her license. She didn't understand why, but she wasn't clear either. Her words did not match her meaning. She showed all the signs of rapid mental decline. Then her son got cancer and they never saw her again. She didn't come to make payments, she didn't mail them in, it just stopped. The owners tried calling her, but all her numbers were disconnected. They came to the conclusion that her daughter had taken over with the son busy dealing with cancer. The daughter was taking the money and shutting down every expense. Probably didn't even think of the unit containing thousands of dollars of fine collectibles in mint condition. 

The owners sent a certified letter with the auction date and when that date I arrived with cash in hand and a spare lock.  They in a bidding session that took no longer than five minutes it was mine.

A part of me always feels guilty, as if I am taking advantage of another's failure. But I know that someone may get this and use all the personal information for identity fraud, or destroy her heartfelt memories. I do the best I can to return them to facility so the original owner can get them back and then I shred all the paperwork that contains PII.  I don't have to, but it is the right thing to do. So I suppose I am doing them a service by protecting them. Protecting people who I know so well from a few boxes of things who will never know me.

-Uncle Walter

 

Rant of the Day - Movie previews for movies that look good but are months away

It kills me when I see a preview for a movie that looks good and then learn that it is months away. In this case I just watched X-Men:Days of Future Past which looks like an attempt to send Wolverine into the past and wipe out X-Men Origins:Wolverine and X-Men 3. This is a worthy mission that I must see, yet I have to wait until it comes out. That is just plain wrong! 

-UW

Rant of the Day - Random shipping of TV characters!

Do you know what really drives me nuts? When people "ship" or pair two characters who would not normally be together and put them in an intimate relationship. Like Clark Kent and Mary Jane or Clark Kent and Barbara Gordon or Clark Kent and Castiel or Clark Gregg and Castiel. No, that doesn't make any sense to me. Why would these people, aliens, secret agent, angel type things mate? Why do people put these separate characters together who don't belong there. I don't need to think of Kirk and Spock hooking up or Sherlock hanging with Watson. Why can't I just enjoy a show without hearing these things about random pairings or "shipping" rattling around in my head just because they exist on der interwebs? Damn you internet you keep messing with the things I enjoy. At least no one ever ships from Once Upon a Time, right?

-UW

Rant of the Day - Hulu's Evil Taunting with old seasons of shows

Do you know what I can't stand? When Hulu posts a classic show I love like WKRP or The Bob Newhart show. These are great classics that you just don't see anymore and there are countless others like them that I would love to watch again. Hulu acts like they're all cool and says, "Hey, I know you want some WKRP right? I've got just what you need right here." And up pops WKRP in recommended shows. And I'm like, "Awesome!" and dive into the show. Season 1 was awesome especially the turkey episode. Now I'm ready to dive into the joy of season 2 right?  Wrong, Hulu taunted me with the pleasures of classic television, let me watch enough to want more and then yanked the rug out from under me. Instead of showing more classics I get directed to Tosh 2.0 Yeah, no thanks.

They did the same thing with The Mary Tyler Moore show, only 2 seasons, and with Bob Newhart only 3. Never enough to feel satisfied, just hungry for more. Damn you Hulu. You promise me everything and then just tease me without satisfaction.

-UW

Rant of the Day - Songs Stuck in my Head

So I'm going about my day doing normal Uncle Walter things and this one song keeps playing in my head over and over again. It has nothing to do with what I am doing today, it just keeps playing over and over again driving my insane.

Now this would be bad enough if I knew the lyrics, but of course I don't. In fact this song has the chorus I keep hearing all freaking day, but the rest of the words are from a parody.  Yeah, thanks Key of Awesome.

Ok, in all honesty the lyrics to the Key of Awesome one are better and make a lot more sense. And the video is better, but still why is it in my head all day? Doesn't my head know that I need to focus on important Uncle Walter activities?  

Oh well at least it isn't some Bieber song.

-UW

Hacking a Commodore 64 is hot???

As part of Gishwhes (if you don't know Google it) I dove into the past of computer tinkering and procured a vintage Commodore 64 to control a coffee maker. Thr programming was simple, the hardware was a challenge due to scarcity of parts. The hardest part was just finding an old Commodore that I could get in such a short amount of time. Then The Wife told me that someone said that what I did was hot. Wait, what?

You must understand I am a computer tinkerer from the 80s. The Commodore was never my thing, but I was pretty handy with an Apple II and a Mac Plus. Back then, when Microsoft was DOS and Kaypro was still a contender, any kid who worked/played on computers was labeled a nerd or geek. These were not considered good things, in fact a good supply of 5 1/4" disks was a very effective girl repellant. Fortunatly The Wife wasn't turned off by my laptop and Duke Nukem and still came over to talk to me that fateful day when we met.

Now women think that doing all that stuff is hot? 

If that's the case, maybe I was born a little too early.

-UW

Cozy Up With Kozy Books

Kozy Books were an American publishing firm in the late 1950s/early 1960s which specialised in pulp sleaze novels. Their tagline was Cozy Up With Kozy Books. (Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kozy_Books, 8/6/2013)

Kozy Books is a question in my mind. They published a series of tawdry tales from 1956 to 1963 from a series of authors. Specifically, "outstanding authors of fiction and non-fiction especially chosen for entertaining our audience." Printed in the United States and reprinted in the UK, for at least some titles, there is little information left about this little outfit. What is clear is that they published books under author non de plumes which tell of sultry women, random encounters and murder. Practically pulp novels, they fit nicely into their time frame with murder mysteries, like "The Girl with the Golden G-String," to sci-fi, like "Father of the Amazons." Each has it's own charm, but how many are there, what happened to Kozy, and who were the real authors?

I have searched the web to learn more about Kozy, but there is little available. Wikipedia has an entry, riddled with poor grammar, and a partial list of books. Sites list the covers, which are interesting (check the covers blog for more of them soon) but nothing on the company. Who were the people who decided to publish these novels? What happened to them? 

It is an interesting question and one I will continue to explore as I gather more Kozy books, and perhaps even the whole collection. Do you have any? Drop me a note to let me know.

-UW

An Uncle Walter Plot Synopisis of RIPD - Warning!!! Spoilers!!!

After braving the theater to watch RIPD, I now present to you my plot synopsis of RIPD.  

WARNING Spoilers...

Ok so it starts off with Green Lantern (GL).

GL is a cop who has Footloose as a partner.

Quickly we learn that they take some gold chunks from some drug lab. GL buries his in his backyard without telling his wife that he has it then tells Footloose that he is going to turn the gold into evidence, but Footloose can keep his. Footloose says fine and then later, on some cop bust thing, he shoots GL in the face. GL get sucked up into the sky and yanked into a room where he meets Weeds.

Weeds gives him the chance to be a RIPD guy who has to catch dead people who are still on earth instead of facing final judgement as a crooked cop. He just has to do it for 100 years so he says sure. He gets partnered with The Dude.

Dude is an old timey wild west lawman whose body was eaten by coyotes (and violated by them) which we hear about more than we should. They go back and, as I'm sure everyone has seen in the trailers, look different. The Dude is a hot lady and GL is an old chinese guy. Dude teaches GL that when things are broken it is a sign of a rotting soul still on earth. They track some soul down and make him look like some monster with cumin which apparently souls don't like.

In the end they kill him. They have some kind of soul guns that can kill souls. They find out that the soul had some of that gold stuff on him so GL figures that they need to investigate more. They track stuff and find out that Footloose is a another soul trying to collect all these gold pieces to reverse the funnel to the afterlife and bring all the dead back to earth. The Dude and GL fight him, they win, GL gets to say goodbye to his wife. All is good in the world. GL gets a new identity so instead of being an old chinese guy he is a 16 year old girl scout. Oh and some loosely alluded to relationship between Weeds and The Dude is back on when she bites his beard which they call "Billy Goating".

The End

Any Questions?

Complaint of the Day: Feeling Bad for Doing the Right Thing

I did something at work which was the right thing to do. It followed all the policies, it was a decision that was respected and approved by all that I worked with. It cost someone their job. I feel bad for what I did. Would I do it again? Yes I would, because I caught a bad problem and reported it to the higher ups which is what I am supposed to do, but I really thought it would just be a slap on the wrist or a mention in their performance review. Instead they were let go.

Would I do it again? Yes, because it was the right thing to do. Does that make me feel any better about it? No. I feel awful. Sometimes doing the right thing is not easy and we all have to live with the consequences of that decision. But that cannot change the fact that we must always do the right thing. That is something that we must always do no matter how painful.

-UW